The beautiful Renee Burke has begun a wonderful project
called the SumMEr of ME! Every woman has
different ways to honor the self that they are. SumMEr of ME means self-care
and self-love!
Self-care for me is about staying active and moving my body. For many years I have struggled with moving up and down in weight. I never
really liked talking about it because it was one of those things that made me
feel ashamed. I would constantly tell myself I was not good enough.
Today I don’t feel that anymore. I remember the day that my
mind switched from holding such negativity about myself. I began bikram yoga class about
2 years ago. At first I was irritated because it was hot, I wasn’t that
flexible, they wanted me to look at myself in the mirror, and to top it off I
was surrounded by tall, THIN bodies that held each pose for as long as the
instructor made us. After my first day I thought “I won’t be going back to
that.” but I did.
I could feel myself getting stronger and more flexible but
most importantly I realized that the practice of yoga helped me to look into my
own eyes as a way to look deep inside of myself. The mirror was there to help
us focus on our form but I got used to looking at myself instead of turning
away. I looked into my eyes the way I would look into the eyes of someone I
love… deeply, purposefully and with admiration. For the first time after about
3 months I looked past my wider-than-most-hips and external body distractions
to discover only for a few seconds the beauty of myself within.
I don’t know what happened but I began to cry. I was not sobbing
but more of a cleansing. I had to lie down for a bit just to sit with the
emotions that it mixed in my spirit. It was as if my spirit had snapped out of
the trance of lies I had been telling myself. It was a powerful experience I
will treasure forever.
I love working out with my sister, my fiancé and my friends
at Hardbody Fitness here at home. My favorite personal trainer is Mark Anderson
and each week he empowers so many men and women to exercise the body to become
stronger on all levels. Here I am just yesterday pulling the tire. It seems
crazy I know, but I love the way it makes me feel. I am really big on feelings if you haven’t noticed.
Everyday is a new beginning and I realize that I am so much
more than a body but my way of honoring this beautiful body is through
self-care and self-love….loving and exercising my body as often as possible.