The beautiful Renee Burke has begun a wonderful project called the SumMEr of ME! Every woman has different ways to honor the self that they are. SumMEr of ME means self-care and self-love!
Self-care for me is about staying active and moving my body. For many years I have struggled with moving up and down in weight. I never really liked talking about it because it was one of those things that made me feel ashamed. I would constantly tell myself I was not good enough.
Today I don’t feel that anymore. I remember the day that my mind switched from holding such negativity about myself. I began bikram yoga class about 2 years ago. At first I was irritated because it was hot, I wasn’t that flexible, they wanted me to look at myself in the mirror, and to top it off I was surrounded by tall, THIN bodies that held each pose for as long as the instructor made us. After my first day I thought “I won’t be going back to that.” but I did.
I could feel myself getting stronger and more flexible but most importantly I realized that the practice of yoga helped me to look into my own eyes as a way to look deep inside of myself. The mirror was there to help us focus on our form but I got used to looking at myself instead of turning away. I looked into my eyes the way I would look into the eyes of someone I love… deeply, purposefully and with admiration. For the first time after about 3 months I looked past my wider-than-most-hips and external body distractions to discover only for a few seconds the beauty of myself within.
I don’t know what happened but I began to cry. I was not sobbing but more of a cleansing. I had to lie down for a bit just to sit with the emotions that it mixed in my spirit. It was as if my spirit had snapped out of the trance of lies I had been telling myself. It was a powerful experience I will treasure forever.
I love working out with my sister, my fiancé and my friends at Hardbody Fitness here at home. My favorite personal trainer is Mark Anderson and each week he empowers so many men and women to exercise the body to become stronger on all levels. Here I am just yesterday pulling the tire. It seems crazy I know, but I love the way it makes me feel. I am really big on feelings if you haven’t noticed.
Everyday is a new beginning and I realize that I am so much more than a body but my way of honoring this beautiful body is through self-care and self-love….loving and exercising my body as often as possible.