Early this month I hosted my first retreat. A group of five
women came together in a beautiful house in Boerne, TX to relax and spend time
together. This was the retreat that almost did not happen because there were so
many things that went wrong from location issues, to yoga instructors canceling
to not having enough funds to do all the wonderful things I had planned. Being
a person that will not accept failure I pushed through all the obstacles but
realized that they were not obstacles at all, instead beautiful gifts that came to
me as learning lessons. I discovered early in the process that if I could see
my way to the retreat I set out to do that I would learn things I had not even
imagined. I was right.
Getting things together for this small gathering of women was a
lot of work. It started with hosting weekly mixers with food and gifts. Then
for the actual retreat were the sleeping arrangements, creating an environment
and experience that would help them relax, coordinating the art events, dinners,
yoga teacher, massage therapist and other meaningful moments were all the parts
that together had me busy for many months. I had hoped for at least ten women
but five proved to be really all I could handle.
The highlight of the time together was a ceremony titled “From
Fire to Forgiveness” that I facilitated. It was just heart-warming to be
present.... listening to each woman as they let go of a situation that deeply
hurt them. I had preprinted small sheets of paper. One side read Fire... has
someone or something hurt you? What have you been holding on to? It is time let that go! The idea was for them to write down and, if they
liked, to share what no longer serves them....take it out of there body, mind
and soul by writing it down....each on of these girls were so moved...they
participated whole-heartedly and were almost aching to release the burden they
had been carrying. In my imagination I never thought it would be such a
wonderful experience.
I could feel myself being present in strength for each one
of them. It was so easy to stay there, be there....so strong... in
love....through the tears and laughter.
On the back of each preprinted paper
was the word: " FORGIVENESS...I surrender...I let go...I let go right
now!" we recited it together each time a woman threw her “fire” into the
pit....My "fire" was deciding to let go of trying to be everything,
for everyone, all of the time...focus more on my self and evolution as a woman
and all that is included in that which I am calling my soulful metamorphosis. It could not have been any better!
I could have canceled this function because NOTHING went as
planned! Absolutely nothing! But something inside of me said I needed to go
through with it. One reason is because I don't like going back on my word but
also because it would help me with the soulful metamorphosis I am experiencing and writing about each day. I hope to share that process soon in a new e-course I am writing.
I also learned that I know women crave these experiences and
retreats! Getting women to value their souls and the nurturing they must do for
themselves is a hard thing to do. Retreats are about looking inward, reflecting
and then coming away with a new perspective or new intention for how to live.
Women need to do this often! Choosing to invest in self is a commitment to
honoring our souls and their desires.
I came to this place as a result of
questioning my own life and my purpose. I wanted to discover more deeply my
innate creative self and the yearning to let go of those things that no longer
served my life. I could take a vacation and go to Paris or Rome and come back
refreshed but the core of my life would not have changed.
Retreating to myself
with the sole (or soul) intention of stepping out of the everyday, reflecting
on what is really important to me, discovering things about myself, delving
into the challenges of my life… I can come away with a deeper knowing that I can change what I want to change about all of
it!
This is why I feel retreating is so important to women.
For the record I realized that hosting retreats is not what I
want to do :) Although it was very touching, moving and a great way to connect
with women...it was just very draining for a highly sensitive person like
myself. I enjoyed teaching the art events and was very comfortable in that artistic space, but
putting it all together…I am going to leave that to the Linda Barthua’s and
Melody Ross’s of the world.
xxx
