My word for this year is:
The last quarter of 2011 really sparked a change in me. Taking Flying Lessons by Kelly Rae Roberts has been the best money I have spent in all of my life. Not only did I gain a well of knowledge but it allowed me to find a community I did not know existed. This community of artists has helped keep me honest in every creative endeavor from that point on. For many years have suppressed any creative feeling I have had. I was haunted by my inner voice begging me to come out. Haunted everyday by the artist within.
When I first found Kelly Rae's art I was in an independent bookstore where I live in San Antonio, Texas. As I looked into the women's eyes of the painting (the same one on her book Taking Flight) a chill came over me. This woman was talking to me. "How could this be... this is a painting, Sofia!" I would say. The woman in the painting looked at me and with her eyes saw into my very soul. She had found me. I could no longer hide. It's almost like she was pulling out that part of myself that I had suppressed for so long. My inner artist was being pulled out of me.
|My Muse. (KRR's Painting)|
I turned away in fear. I pretended like it was just another beautiful piece of artwork. I hid behind the bookshelves and I tried hard not to feel the emotions swirling in me. Blankly, I starred into a shelf of books and thought to myself, "Please be honest here. Stop lying to yourself. Listen...be still and listen.
After a few moments of breathing deeply I peered out to seek her, this time not so afraid but relieved. She knew my story. She knew my deepest desires and ambitions and fears. She told me to let go and I would be free. I left her there that day. Before I left the bookstore I held her in my hands and promised that I would let go of my fears. I promised to no longer hide behind a false self. I promised to give the creative voice inside of me her chance to speak. I quietly exited and drove home in silence.
I will speak of this experience as long as I live because it was transformative for me. Living in honesty and living my truth is my goal in 2012. I am more prepared now to let go of things and people who do not serve me. I realize now more than I ever have that being honest with myself and others creates less stress in my life and allows me to live a more authentic life.
I want to espouse all the the above this year. I know that with my group of fabulous flying females I will be fully supported!
I recently began creating intention candles for the new year to help me live more honestly. This idea was sparked by fellow flyer Rachel Payne. The intention of Self-love in the first quarter of the year is where I am concentrating.
This candle states that I am a: FREAKING GODDESS :) and that I can light the way to achieving my dreams!
The back side of this candle states to: Get your LOVE on!
Thank you for your love and presence!