Opening up to the possibilities of my life.....

Hello to all of you.  My first post is about a transformation that occurred for me last year. I have been reading about all of the creative ghosts in my new online E-Course Flying Lessons hosted by none other than Kelly Rae Roberts. Many of these creators are haunted everyday by the artist within that aches to express itself. 

It so beautiful isn’t it? the place we always go to that seems frightening but exhilarating at the same time. When I first found Kelly Rae's art I was in an independent bookstore where I live in San Antonio, Texas. As I looked into the women's eyes of the painting (the same one on her book Taking Flight) a chill came over me. She had found me. I could no longer hide. I turned away in fear. Behind the bookshelves I peered out to seek her, this time not so afraid but relieved. She knew my story. She knew my deepest desires and ambitions and fears. She told me to let go and I would be free. I left her there that day. Before I left the bookstore I held her in my hands and promised that I would let go of my fears. I promised to no longer hide behind a false self. i promised to give the creative voice inside of me her chance to speak. I quietly exited and drove home in silence.

The transformation that occurred for me after that was extraordinary. I emptied a bedroom in my house and made it my art studio. I painted whatever, mainly on canvas but the floor got some and so did the walls. some how (and i still don't know how to this day) i found myself teaching acrylics I had been painting in a studio downtown. i was in a zone, i was daring and more confident so I began searching for creative/artistic opportunities and I found one. Really though I think it found me. I painted and painted and I loved every minute. I did that for about 8 months and I decided that i wanted to focus on my art and create a style for myself some way I just don't now what it will be yet.

I have to tell you all that I kept seeing her (Kelly's Take Flight painting) every so often. Here and there in my city and in different cities I traveled to within that year. One day on a stroll at some local shops I saw her again but this time she came home with me. She hangs proudly at the highest part of the wall in my art studio. She is always whispering to me. "You can" "don't be afraid" "keep going" "YES!" "let your heart sing"  Her whispers become loud vibrations in my head and make my heart pound faster. Sometimes when i look into her shimmering eyes i can see myself glow. it seems now that my whole life has been about that moment. the moment that i returned to myself.  I only want to keep that alive always.

how can i put words together to describe me? i can't. i'm a jumbled mess most of the time. full of emotion and passion and compassion and love. everything spinning around in my head and heart. i love the moon and reading and painting. i love the sound of children's laughter and the smell of my parent’s house. i love theatre and costumes and museums. I love to travel and meet new people and eat new food. i love to play my violin and i live to write about all of this.

i thank everyone in my new class for being here and sharing with me your experiences. I don't know why I decided to take this class but I am glad I did. I look forward to learning from all of the artists in my class! love and happiness to my creative ghosts.

p.s. and by the way. a couple of Mondays ago the art gallery director of the bookstore (where I first found my inspiration, Kelly’s beautiful painting) contacted me. One of my paintings now hangs in the art gallery there. tears of joy my ghosts tears of utter joy!

PEACE, LOVE AND PAINTBRUSHES!